Acceptance

Remynder: Acceptance is essential for my peace of heart and mind.

I am stubborn and there are times I don't like accepting the truth or reality. Some facts in my life and some feeling I hold are either too painful or need a change in perspective. I don't like the fact it is becoming clear that my wuzband's* house became the family home my daughters return to, not mine. I don't like my latest high cholesterol count, even though I think I eat a healthy diet and exercise every day. I sometimes don't like being in my love relationship because his style of living and priorities are soooooo differently from mine. I sometimes don't like his Asperger's. I don't like the wrinkles on my face and the loose skin draping from my midriff. What am I going to do about all this adversity I face? Accept every morsel of it and move on. I don't have to like any of it, but I don't have to victimize myself over it. I can choose to live in the problem OR I can live in the solution. Sometimes it's a matter of changing my attitude; sometimes it takes action. Acceptance, though, is the catalyst to free thinking and loving. 

*I have adopted the term "wuzband" from a dear, wise friend, Anna Rainville. I think "ex" sounds so cold, sharp and mean. Wuzband (or if you will, was-band)) is kinder, gentler, more loving, and helps dilute the bitter taste left in my soul after bellicose ending. We have severed ties (ironic since we are parents of two lovely and amazing daughters) and no longer communicate with one another. It is a frigid cold war. But, living with a kind heart is better than dwelling in meanness. 

Don't Take It So Personally!

One of the common traps I fall into is taking things so personally. I react to another's word or a action as if it is an assault or criticism directed with laser-sharp aim at me. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of the time it has nothing to do with me. Oy, I take things so seriously, sometimes.  It's time to cultivate a thicker skin or a slippery back. Listen, process and let it go. 

(Inspired by one of the Four Agreements.)

I Am Enough

This is a good remynder for maintaining balance. Too many times in my life I skirted the edge of the dark side by under-valuing myself and, sadly, declaring myself as "no good", as compared to "everyone else". I found it difficult to settle into being satisfied with who I am. When I finally said to myself, "Enough is enough" and that I preferred life over living with a dying soul, I was able to earnestly embark upon the path of spiritual growth. Step by step, year by year, moment by moment, the clouds of self-inflicted emotional warfare cleared by thinking. I can now accept that I am okay just the way I am. I not much better than anyone else, nor I am much worse. In fact, I am probably in the middle range... like most folks. I have a piece of folk art created from a sheet of rusty corrugated metal that has two figures eying each other, a devil and an angel. It says, "A little good, a little bad -- like most folk..." I am aware that I have good traits and bad; I have made good and not-so-good choices for my life. What matters is seeing myself through a clear lens: admitting my faults and shortcomings and working through them to be my best self but also to accept the gifts I offer the world. I am not merely one or the other; I am enough.

(In reviewing the paragraph, I noted I trended toward moralizing. That is only part of the message. It is about being feeling complete and content in this fast-moving, whirling world filled with endless opportunities and other people we perceive as super-achievers. The American culture is rampant with skewed demands for excellence gained by ever more cut-throat ego-centric competition. I am not dismissing right-sized goals for personal gain, but I know I lost appreciation of my value when I compared myself to others, resulting in the "less than" syndrome. I am NOT "less than"; I am enough!)

Another day, another remynder

Start saying "I can!" instead of reacting with "I can't".

When I am present and clearly conscious of my thoughts, words and actions, I often catch myself reacting with the phrase, "Aw, I can't" when presented with a challenge. Well, it's time to respond with the two words that raise the bar of personal success,"I can!". The outcome is not guaranteed but by adjusting my attitude, I  reset my sail toward a more positive horizon and I am closer to reaching my divine potential. This covers all areas of my life, from the realm of intimate relationships to deciding to climb a 5.10 rock-climbing route to offering my time to be of service to someone in need. When I immediately say "No", I lose out on the possibility for excellence, satisfaction, achievement, or higher love -- simply, I miss out on becoming my best self. 

Remynder to Self

From The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, a constant source of "correctional" inspiration: "To be impeccable with my words" (paraphrased).

What does that mean for me today?

• To say what I mean and to mean what I say; simply put, just be honest when communicating with others.  
• To speak with kindness and from my heart, especially refraining from the use of sarcasm and other passive-aggressive language. 
• To think before expressing myself, especially when angered or in an ill-tempered mood. (As my mother always advised, "Count to ten...".

Communication has oftentimes been awkward for me, whether caused by fear, low self-esteem, feeling foolish, or not believing deeply in what I have to share. At least, that's what I can come up with today. My throat chakra needs to be free of the constrictions I place upon it. I choke up. I become silent. I go within when what I really need to do is share my soul with another. Today, I seek the freedom "to be impeccable with my words". Amen.

Day One

What in the world do I have to remind myself of? The answer is simple: all the practices and words of wisdom that enable me to be my best self! Goodness, I fall short all the time. Every day I find myself having to pick my shabby little ego up to straighten it out for some reason or another. You see, I want to be "my best self" at all times. That, however, is an impossible expectation. I  believe in the saying, "It's progress, not perfection". Our journey through life is a path toward perfection, guided by spiritual practices to keep us on track. However, we stray, trip and stumble along the way. When I am conscious of falling short or teetering off-balance, I search within myself for the inspiring salve I need to get myself right again. 

Through the years, I have collected many words of wisdom and learned practices that have set me straight and have restored my soul to a state of balance. I love to dispense my spiritual medicine to others, then realize it is me who needs to take it! I often notice others sharing spiritual wisdom while the words they broadcast are what they hunger for in order to heal themselves or progress to becoming their "best selves". This blog is intended to help me stay on course while I trudge the path of my life journey. Each post will deliver the "remynder" I need at that moment to regain my balance and spiritual composure. Maybe something will resonate within you, too.

Today's "remynder": Do not limit myself by having low expectations. There is so much I can (and will) achieve by raising the bar of the belief I have in my talent and ability. (Inspired by the "How to Become Batman" installment of the NPR "Invisibilia" podcast.)